2016 is around the corner. Less than 24 hours away. The last time I felt the need to pay tribute to a year going by was 2 years back so you can Imagine how 2014 and most of 2015 went for me. But as I wrap up this year I am all charged up and restless and all that in a good way :)
This post is less of a tribute to 2015 but more of an ‘Ushering in a New year’ wishlist.
It has been an eventful August back there in the second dimension.
For those who are new here , I have a tendency to refer to my personal space and professional life as two dimensions. In this third dimension of ‘exploring a digital identity ‘ I do report back how the other two are treating me and this is one of those posts.
So I won an R&R. One of those recognitions in which you travel along with other winners to some exotic location and are felicitated for whatever little contribution you’ve made based on your merit . So last Monday , I got to know that I won a workplace Recognition for the very first time ever in my entire career of 11 years.
It was so special , putting it down in words will ruin it. Winning ANY recognition at work has been be in my to -do list in life since forever. It’s got something to do with my compulsive disorder of constantly seeking external validation .
After exactly 5 days of going through something that’s not worth writing about , I withdrew. I opted out. I left that was rightfully mine. Somehow , whatever way you put it , it doesn’t capture the hurt and sense of loss I felt . Nevertheless, I gained back my respect . Inspite of being left broken I came out of the experience with my pride intact.
Life is strange that ways. It puts you right on the top and brings you down the next second and watches you as you choose to sit up or walk again or do whatever else one can do after landing on one’s back. I got up and I walked away brushing the dust off.
Some people who’ve observed me and the choice I made in the last week called my decision immature. Perhaps it was. We don’t need to be ‘wise’ all the time , do we?
We definitely need to take strong firm decisions though. When some loose ends linger on too long they get entangled. You end up wasting your time and energy and realize you haven’t moved too far . So I chose .
I handed back the mess I was supposed to un-mess that wasn’t my doing in the first place and took a call. A life changing decision .
And that’s what I’d call a win – win.
I have often wondered how some of the most mediocre writers make it to the ‘Best Seller’ lists . Perhaps because some really brilliant writers like Maggie are too humble or too nocturnal to hit the day light , chase agents , get their writing published and eventually land up at book readings with thousands of curious eyes staring at them. Instead they choose the quiet life of a reader who writes at odd hours and that too ‘as an after thought’. Considering the idea of fans mobbing her for signed copies is a bit much for the pyjama lady , the world doesn’t have a potential best-selling author. True Story.
If you believe in predictions mark this page to come back and read ‘I told you so!’ when she finally [ very reluctantly ] gets pulled into all the limelight she deserves . Till then you can soak in her brilliance via ‘Through a Stranger’s Eyes’ an e-book penned by her & listed here . I am using this book review as an opportunity to yet again proclaim my love for her writing and the person that she is as a part of the BlogChatter eBook carnival.
Sometimes the best laid plans don’t turn out as expected and then 2016 happens to you.
Right in the middle of it , you take a moment to finally see how far you’ve come from the life you had and the person you were. A moment destined to be captured in a Half Year post.
The idea of it has been like those fuzzy dreams you remember in parts when you get up the next day. You are filled with a strange anxiety . You try hard to make sense of why you feel a certain way . Yet you do because you have been consumed with an idea. You aren’t even sure how it feels or seems but you obsess over it day in day out.
That’s me for over 3 decades yearning to feel home.
For a lot of people , the idea of home is comfort or a sense of belonging , a person even.
For me its none of those . My vision of home always involved me curled up in a lounge chair sipping on some coffee , reading a book or typing away on my laptop, alone.