It starts with a mystical voice singing a lyrical masterpiece but you get distracted with the sights of Kolkata from yesterera unfolding from one frame to another. That’s Jaanam for you .The song I’d be happy to sit in a movie hall and watch on loop for 90 mins . And that’s how Byomkesh Bakshi has me at the titles. Carefully sketched out characters tumble in and out. Fascinating faces , interesting back stories , fine acting and bang on casting. You’ll forgive them for an occasional over the top scene or two coz surely that comes from knowing they are too good at their craft. I didn’t pay much attention to the story coz that’s really secondary in a movie that’s cinematically first rate. Hats off to the attention to detail and imagination of Dibankar Banerjee who’s love for Kolkata and Quentin Tarantino movies is quite apparent. There are many scenes that leave you spell bound coz of their sheer wit , magnificence or simplicity. ” Sach ke paas wala jhooth pakadna mushkil hota hai”. “Khoon saaf karna rehne de sirf chai banade” ” In babu ka nut loose lagta hai” The smoke – filled coffee houses , the narrow lanes , the retro trams and the idea of re creating a character we’ve all loved as kids. Byomkesh Bakshy is quite a classic but only for those who really value someone’s passion and intent to create something truly unique. Watch it . Its way better than the 100 crore league movies one fondly calls , masala films.
Just like Ms Padukone insists. It’s our choice to be your side of the table or all over the place ( as a working mom) like me. It’s her stoic message to the universe in general that’s inspired this momentary madness . And am finally choosing to really speak my mind to you.
I am a working mom. And trust me most days I end up either kick starting or winding up a mad crazy day thinking if I should just transit to the other side.
I love my little kid. Contrary to what you believe I am not the selfish bitch who’s so busy climbing the corporate ladder that she completely ignores her duties towards the little soul she’s brought to life going through exactly the same process that you did – the anxiety , the panic attacks , the mental trauma and the physical scars included. I am just struggling to keep the two dimensions to my being alive by being a super human being. And that comes at a huge cost.
You think it must be a piece of cake making those fancy presentations ,going on those work trips and having really a semblance of a life beyond the four corners of the house that you’ve dedicated your life to.
Well newsflash. It’s not.
And if you are waiting for an explanation , the horrific details , the juicy gossip that will make your day – Then nope that’s not coming either.
Coz good, bad or ugly. It’s my choice to be this way. All over the place. Stretched to the limit. Finding oneself at two places at one time. Guilt ridden of not doing a decent job at either of them, all the time. But that’s how it is.
I don’t work like its my job and I am getting paid. I work coz I like using the energy I have towards something worthwhile .
I don’t have a kid coz that was expected out of me and its my job to feed, clean , wash and do whatever zillion things we do for those tiny people round the clock . I had a kid coz I knew like most things in life I would be fantastic at being a mom too.
Ditto for you. You had to quit work for a reason that you best know and I at best can respect. Period.
We respect each other‘s choices. Be judgmental about them in our living rooms or bed rooms or in our minds. But you don’t get to be all critical in my face and then not expect ditto and more back.
There’s much much more that I’d like to say but then I think the point is made.
Working – super- mom
Better Cars , More clothes , Fatter pay checks. More Fun. More Friends , More ,Better , Bigger . Faster. Quicker.
Are we turning out to be a breed of really unhappy people that constantly crib . About how where ever they are and whatever they have isn’t just good enough? Constantly running behind something or the other , not stopping for a bit for the proverbial ‘stand & stare’’?
We switch jobs , changes roles , choose careers for money. For designations. And even if we do that purely for the kick of ‘something new’ – it doesn’t last too long. Soon enough we are bored and full of remorse. “Oh the distance is too much” ,“The location is so non happening” ,“The office culture isn’t that good” or just the plain old – it’s too boring .
We always have reasons and explanations for not liking whatever we have & where ever we are.
We have excuses that explain why we’d rather be anywhere else than here.
We always wish we were someplace else than here. Right? No .. well here’s food for thought . Don’t we look at our phones when we are at the movies & dream about the weekends when we are in the middle of a meeting. We talk shop when we meet people at social gatherings & gossip about people’s social lives endlessly near coffee vending machines.
It’s amazing how much happier we were when we stayed in those 2 bedroom houses & got that extra TV hour when parents went off for social evenings. Nothing could replace the joy of getting to watch MTV – munching on mommy-made ‘junk food’ . Today , going out for a 7 course meal or having scores of channels to watch and a closetful to wear isnt close to what we desire.
We detest routines – when all through the time when we were the most disciplined was when we stuck to a curriculum – to eat , study , sleep !
But isn’t it true that back then we wanted to grow up so fast we couldn’t wait to get rid of those exams and get those degrees under our belt. Obviously back then – life right now was what we desired.
Its always the same story right? The constant battle between the fast forward or the erase and rewind.
Wouldn’t it be so much better if we could just pause. And GO PLAY in the minute that we are in . Right now?
There’s something really odd about Farewells.
Especially the one’s that are your own.
Inspite of all the kind words people say about you , there’s that one thought that upsets you somewhere.
Do they value you enough? Did you really give it your best? Did that one professional relationship that turned sour did hold much better potential? And what’s in store? Is it better .. Or are you just escaping ?
So after the kind words die down. The questions remain.
But that’s change. However , good it may turn out to be , leaves you with some questions.
Its perhaps then one finds strength in these words. Lifes turning out exactly how you wanted. Don’t think too much .. Just live it up.
If there is one year in my life that defined – Gain, Loss , Joy , Sorrow , Happiness , Suffering , Discovering angels , fighting demons. And perhaps much more than oxymoron-like- descriptors can define . Then it was 2013.
An year when tough calls had to be taken that changed the course of my career. Tougher calls were taken that changed life on a personal front. Yet , 2013 like any other left me richer with a lot of unexpected treasures & twists.
There was watching ‘Lunch Box’ – a gorgeous tale of love , longing & dreams for a better tomorrow . One of the best movies I’ve seen in ages. Also basically , one of the very few movies ( in all 6 at my last count ) I’ve seen since my baby came into my life.
I am sure like every mother whose trying to give her best to everything she does – I found myself relating to the leading lady’s character . That perhaps was the beauty of the narrative. It just pulled you in , in its tiny little world . Without so much of a drama. Just a simple story , told in the simplest of manner. Tougher done than said any day.
Another gem was Catching Fire. A Love story set in the most difficult circumstances. Which is why perhaps you wonder – if they can beat all odds with death & suffering looming over their head , we certainly can in a life that’s definitely much less dramatic.
So those were Movies .
Another Top Moment for me on personal front was discovering ( or rediscovering ) Twitter.
So much so that the title of the post is a tag coz of two reasons. A tribute to my rediscovery. And also a memorabilia of my Twitter-Project.
Now like the other day I was jokingly reasoning it out with someone on give a marketing person a task , and they take it up like a project with long – term & short – term goals & objectives. And then want to beat everyone in a fictitious battle on who’s doing a better job — all conjured up inside one’s head. Now all that , with a slight change is how I’d define another interesting experience this year. The one I call Project-Twitter . The change being that it was a self-created task & not really assigned.
When I discovered Twitter & its potential to hold multiple conversations across various topics on one hand , and give you enough anonymity and space to have a soliloquy anytime , anywhere . Its a dear diary + agony aunt , all rolled into one. A pandora’s box – you put your hand inside it and be surprised with what comes out like a magician’s hat.
That’s twitter to me. A zillion possibilities. And one of them was curating a group of some 9K delhi individuals . The much needed spurt of inspiration – about reading , researching , writing & discussing . Things that are as trivial as #WhatTheBlahSongs to as curious as #11YearsOfDelhiMetro. As vivid as #Ghalib ( and his birth anniversary) to as apt as #TopMomentsof2013. One week of creating an agenda for the year to come . The prelude to my Project 365.
Travel has been too less and far in between. But a trip to Panchmarhi – the land of history & adventures , that has been in my list for way too long now , was surely a shining moment.
There are definitely many but having a TopMoment list finds its true meaning when there are few that stand out & not many that fill up your mind.
So long till I move on to elaborate of a long growing list of things to write about . A post of Resolutions – History, Ghalib , Etiquettes for Children are coming up next. Project 365 is beginning to sound like an actual possibility than just a fancy fad to me.
Of all the promises one makes , the ones to self are toughest to keep.
Keeping this one short , cos don’t want to break what’s started on such a fantastic note.
But closing with the promise that tomm , two posts come in — one on the importance of etiquettes for children & another on my #TopMoments2013 ( and I write that with a tag coz one of them was definitely discovering Twitter) .
So long till then. I ll sleep as an exhausted but happy person today.
Ah! The pleasure of keeping one’s promise to one self.