My story goes up on Rediff Movies

From random posts to write ups for popular sites , here’s more serious writing for fun!
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When you lose , never lose the lesson!

Yup to begin  on that profound  , to the point of depressive note isnt a suggested thing to do .. but when one’s suggesting what to ‘not do’ when you are planning a job change .. one does get a little philosophically -introspective.

Sometimes , the simplest of questions – What to look for , when you are at the verge of a job change.. have more complicated replies than ‘ the salary package’!!

9. The Basics  – Cafeteria ?Coffee Machine? Weekly/Monthly – Birthday Parties? any parties? yes or no questions . need to have all affirmative answers.Very Very important.

8. The office temperature – and am not just referring to the Air conditioning! well yes , that’s imp too , but more importantly, how revved up , high-spirited , buzz in the air – kind of place it is. Hot or cold?

7. Parking- For those poor souls , who need to wade through the morning and evening traffic- this one can be the clincher. obviously once you ve worked out the match involved in the decision of change being a function of the distance one would need to travel from home and for work.that done ,  if you are worried about the parking guy going for a joy ride while you are at work .. or maybe helping himself with most of your fuel while you battle the petrol price hike AND with ALL that need to shell out big bucks for the ‘premium’ parking too .. then .. ahem ahem.. the hike in all imp P (‘pay’) doesnt matter .. right?

5. (un)Flexi – timings – One might boast of a splendid track record when it comes to ‘in’ time . There is always this one day once in a while , when one needs to step out before the dreaded 6 o’clock strikes. So check from whoever you can – if working till 2 in the night entitles you an hour extra in the morning without suffering a pay cut , or moving out early sometimes has got nothing to do with a formal ‘leave filing process’ – in short is your office clock in time etched in stone.

4. People- The second most important P of your career related decision influencers (first ofcourse and by a huge margin is PAY). Walk in to an office and simply look around . Soak in the faces , the conversations . walk into the elevator and make 5 rounds up and down (Tip : get off on various floors and get in so that the security guy doesnt wonder what you are up to ) If the terms that spring your mind are any or all of these – Dull/Rude/Drab/Bored looking /Boring. Stay away. If the ‘catch the expressions’ rule is hard to crack for you  – simply observe the actions – Are they all glued into their seats staring at their lappys like they are hypnotised , refuse any eye contact with each other and a stranger lurking around , if there is a quiet that would beat a 2 AM scenario at most civilised homes on any given night . What should you do ? right.. stay away!

3. The Rules . To get up and sit down. To come in and move out. To work and to not work . To speak , breathe , eat . If there is a rule , and the rule books are what you stay away from . Then.. its as simple as A B C..

2. Show me the money. self explanatory. :D

1. The Big B. The good ones and bad ones , the rude ones and the meddlesome ones . The over-bearing and the dictator kinds . The ones who’ll invite you to their kids 1st bday party & the one’s who wouldnt care if its your own bday today. We have all had our share of each and every one. The only thing that stays a constant at any given workplace – is how unperdictable the ‘next Big B ‘ is gonna be. Its said , one can choose one’s spouse , but one can never choose ones boss. But one can always make an informed decision . so go ahead – take a survey , hire a detective , get it in your contract , spend a day in invisible mode in the office before you join in. do what ever you can but yes … get to know which one are you gonna face up next .

Have you ever ….?

I think I ve been on a self proclaimed exile from people in general. Sure , they are so many of them around all the time – keen on living it up in public gaze , but some how more than , people – its thoughts that have always been more worthy of any investments as far as my time and energy is concerned.

perhaps , its all a sign of growing up .. like there was actually any scope of being any more ‘grown’ up than some one with an emotional age of 80!

but , some things i’ve been observing in people lately.  And been thinking about some things in pure fascniation of how they demonstrate simple facts like “how – people – work” almost magically . or  driving me nuts in pure irrationality of it all .

Have you ever attended the ladies Loo sessions ?

Have you ever been to a ladies loo and seen a group of girls plonked on the wash basin area discussing anything and everything under the sun. Who ever wondered where these crazy office rumours starts off , well take a sneak peek at one of these ‘guppa sessions’ and you ll know. everything that’s supposed to be ‘confidential’ goes ‘off the record’ in the safe confines of the ladies loo!

Have you ever walked in and out of a loo as you walk when you talk ? 

Worse , and now that am married i can safely comment about this being a habit with not just women but men as well . Obviously we are so so hardpressed for time and be it a chat with some one we ve been planning to catch up with for a while now , or generally a discussion about the latest meeting we hopped out of . Phone stuck to our ear , blabbering away to glory – we walk in and out of loos , using our time well as we relieve ourselves!EeW!

I am suprised how no one ever cuts off the chat in the middle of the narrative  of kareena’s latest getaway with saif – hey what was that flushing sound all about!!I sincerely hope , i dont have to accompany some one right into the loo . I can wait till you get out of it . However earth shattering the matter be! really !

Have you ever expressed yourself on Facebook?

And thank goodness for Face book. Now we can tell the whole world exactly what we think , eat , plan , do and  not do all the time. I think the most entertaining way to start your day now is to simple glance through the FB status messages of friends and friends of friends. yeah right.. I am that ‘workless’ but then who isnt?  There are people who would land from the plane and update the world , wade through the traffic and inform the whole tribe of net – friends , who would miss some one and let every one know , would be up till 3 AM and change their status message at wee hours of the morning to document the fact.  One of my friends is celebrating his birthday today . His friends surprised him at 12 in night with a cake. Sweet. His status at 3 AM in the night thanked all these spl people , plus his album was updated with their happy snaps capturing the general glee. ahh.. heart – warming indeed.

Have you ever hogged the entire changing room and felt quite ‘at home’ ?

This one ‘s absolutely my fav. Mummy , aunty , sis , chachi .. the whole tribe of generations and generations of females – with atleast half the clothes from XS to XXL , off the the hangers of the entire floor – taking the phrase ‘trial room’ to the next level. Have you ever been through this ever? Waited , As the mute spectator , waiting in line for one of the rooms to get free before you turn too old and too fat to wear the cocktail dress in your hand watching helplessly .  Or heard , as you struggled into the – oh -so – pretty top that should rather be on display than on you , how what’s too tight or too lose , or too long or too short or should rather be in sunshine yellow or tomato red . suggestions being exchanged all over the place , thrown from one changing room to another .

Have you ever seen any of this , or much better ? :D

Quite Engaging ..

One of the very many after – effects of geting engaged is tackling the ever persistent questions about “How are the preparations going?!”

i mean i knew how to handle that question for my boards , my engg exams , CAT , Placements and well.. who keeps a track of the reviews and appraisals at work anyways?

BUT . How does one answer that in the context of a wedding thats around .. ahh 5 months away ( rounded off to the nearest whole number)

Plus , there ‘s this level of enthusiasm that you ve got to put in all the verbal and non – verbal cues you ve to give out. Coz brides to be ( i cant believe i am actually writing all this about myself) are expected to be all gushing with joy!

So yes. coming back to the BIG question . How are the preparations going?

You answer that as easy – goingly as possible , “ahh , Good .. good .. mum’s been shopping . and we ve bought some stuff , the venue and all has been done long time back ” and you are trying hard to change the topic to you know how you are also expecting an appraisal letter , and a raise to follow , plus a move to a different circle. and at work there ‘s always so much to do .So all in all you are too busy to really be fully involved ( wondering at the same time – what are they referring to when they say preperations!!.. we are not shooting an Amir khan productions here , when we need to sit through workshops , voice modulations , ‘bonding-sessions’ with the team ..blah blah blah .. for a 30 sec commercial!)

“oh yes.. Hows the shopping going?” Damn it! you ve walked into the trap before you even realised it.

 I mean really , tell me if I would be shopping at the pace at which people think I would be , I have surely chosen the guy with the wrong last name here, It sounds more like am heading to the ‘Ambani villa’ or something!

Shopping for me works like this. I know what i want . I go to the stores where i know i ll get it . I find multiple options . I end up buying what I want and loads of other stuff too . But then thats it. How long does it take to really Shop .. when you truly sincerely absolutely do intent to .. Shop!!?

You try yet again for a topic switch . ” oh very nice. We ve bought jewellery , plus lots of clothes and all . I think its too soon to go in full swing with shopping anyways .. so whats the latest movie that you ve seen?” ( I am glad my mom doesnt read this , coz she’s quite allergic to this attitude of mine  .. but you know what .. I mean it!)

” Hmm nothing yaar … havent checked out jaane tu either .. have you”

“oh yes! last weekend @ priya s , when i was home in delhi!” ( with my mum and sis , on a girls day out .. shopping+movies+dinner! yay! )

“oh with jiju haan?!”

here we go again.

Okay for the record ! I think ‘being engaged’ doesnt mean one’s whole life revolves just around one person or activity ( read the fiance and the wedding)  

Can some one please help me with the perfect replies to

” you must be on cloud 9 .. its the courtship period for you guys” or “You gtalk status says ‘Available’ ..Really – wink wink” Hah!

Cmon! people dont take it too literally when one says “I am engaged” .

Encounters of the Matrimony Kind – Chapter 2

Alrite…

So here ‘s more!

Scene 2

Location : Right outside McDonald’s , CP

( Am thoroughly bored of people  . of meeting them. of smiling and smiling on. Of talking about what i do at work. and outside of it . Blah Blah Blah. AND here i am . feeling over dressed . And over – aged . And wondering WHY oh WHY are we all at McD as i see toddlers running all over the place. hmmm… is this the place where i meet Mr Right . Like over a Happy Meal !!)

The guy : is quite cute. But then there’s the family . and the extended family and the kid that’s throwing stuff around.

Me : Am done with the whole thing before i even start off.

We all decide , McD isnt the place to be ( phew!!) and walk towards Madras coffee house.

We take the centre stage ahh the table at the centre ? We also happen to be one of the three groups of people occupying the place. And there’s some really random music playing in the background . Well this isnt my setting for a dreamy first meeting with even Laloo Prasad Yadav!!

Did i mention , i was put off?

Well , i prefer to listen to “Tota mere tota main to teri ho gayi [oh parrot , my parrot , i am yours forever!... whatever that means!!] ” playing in the background as i try to do a movie tracks search in my brain. The coffee ‘s quite lame. And yes.. people are chatting around me. Oh Yes.. I was here to meet Mr Right , i remind myself.

My father asks me “So would you guys want to talk?”

I say : “No thats not required” And i smile. And people stare at me. ( did the guy look a little heartbroken? Alrite .. so cant i be a little judgemental ?)

Everyone says “You must !”

So we go ahead and talk. And we are done. And we move on.

And whats so great about this encounter? Well , this is what inspired to start writing about how am dealing with “my search!!”

So long… more soon!