This one’s a special one

coz i dont suppose there would be another post coming anytime soon ( 4 yrs to be precise) which would match up in date and spirits !

feel like writing on anything and everything.

its like the written version of a compulsive talker finding an open ground or the an eat – all – you – want – treat ( the written version of that ..duh!)

there are so many ideas that i would like to pen now..

but i guess there would be more nights , when i would want to talk about – happiness . or relive the day we drove down to neemrana. or make a list of all the movies i would want to curl up and watch all night back to back .

more soon…

the last 15 days…

wow.. does life really change so much in …15 days?

i was wondering .. when the last time i wrote that post .. where i was and what state of mind. and then i gave up.

cos its not even remotely possible for me to relive the stress i must ve been bearing .. a day before.. umm.. life changed :)

 got the most amazing v day present .. a new life , a new love- a new job offer , that let me dive into something unknown with the promise of discovering something new.

a new job! with an awesome brand . i only wish it could ve been a little different, i found myself almost arm wrestled. but then.. it was meant to be this way so can i really question the way things shaped?

a quick exit. a quick entry . a jump start and now i find myself running all over the place( like i love to) , browsing to my hearts content( ditto ) and on a high ( all the time !)

my birthday was quite special. started off feeling quite low( being 27 isnt the most exciting thing that can happen to a totally lost yet self contained 26 yr old (thats me))

errrr question!! can we really put brackets inside brackets?

anyways its my page and i ve already done that , so where were we?

yes.. a spl day. why ? coz i connected with a lot of people i would ve loved to spend the day with. Not too many people would go about dressing up , walking in your previous work space with a cake for your own bday . smiling and smiling some more . i did. a lot of calls that i never expected. a couple of messages that i wish never came in . A nice dinner with people i hardly know – and cant really classify as friends/relatives/strangers.

A nice day .

and i felt quite okay dealing with the day inspite of thinking a zillion times how each one of the last 3 odd birthdays have been for me..

at MICA in 2005

at Piramal Haveli in 2006

at Ahmedabad in 2007

some how at each of those ‘stages’ a bit of growing up happened ( why is it that growing up has become synonymous with handling life s unexpected turns)

and i think this yr the best ever growing up happened. coz i was with myself.

and i was absolutely fine.

you know?

A lot of times you don’t have to…

Read people’s mind. You just get the point.

Think too much about the bigger picture. You just get the bottom line.

There’s no big puzzle to crack. No clues. No signs. No evidential proof. No logical reasoning.

It’s an intuitional thing.

You know if someone doesn’t like you much.

You know if something’s not meant to be.

You know that at there’s going to be a new day tomorrow. 

cross roads

So many times i have found myself on cross roads. they are not dead ends , they are not T junctions either. they are just that – cross roads.

worse still , they never seem to have a marking or a general hint of a direction on them.

i am not trying to build an analogy to .. in life you would find yourself choosing one of the two paths . an easier one would tempt you , the difficult one would seem challenging. more often than not , you would reach where you are supposed to reach , once you choose the path that you are supposed to choose… or something to that effect.

yes .. i am NOT saying that. however close to how i feel and believe in the journey of life getting defined by those mind boggling mix of words . i ll still maintain . all i am saying is – i dont even get to see a marking on these ‘many directions’ that i can possibly take to classify them as ‘the easy way out’ or ‘the road less traveled’ .

i wish i could somhow decrypt the various cues that i guess life keeps throwing at me – when these ‘out of the blue’ developments come surging at me.

its like i am sipping my coffee , doing my own thing and there it is . a phone call. that just might change where i would be the very next day. and some years down the line.

like i take a trip to some place , dreaming and hoping of a life that i ve planned . and am back soon to where i was . oh yes, with newer hopes ( the old ones i sort of left behind ) . And humming to myself … “and what it boils down to , its going to be fine fine fine!”

well..

does that happen with people often? i dont seem to have met such people though.

i guess i am getting in to a total talkathon here.. some people never learn the knack of talking to the point. :)

so long then!

How does that sound to you?

A lot of times when i speak with people about how somethings in life arent going as planned , they almost start off with their own thing about how miserable they are.

My misery somehow gives them a cue to open up and pour out the tragedies of their life.  what really surprises me is the comment that most often follows – “well that doesnt seem so bad , you know there are people worse off than you”

well , i have a question here. does the fact that most of the people around me are miserable ( i cant say that for sure , coz most of them dont seem like – but still giving them benefit of doubt) , make my troubles less important?

Does that even come close to justify my problems ? their existence and that i cant seem to find any workable solution to most of them?

i think most of the people i come across have got  a ‘listening disorder’ . Am saying that at the cost of ‘sounding quite rude’ and basis the assumption that I DONT SUFFER from the above mentioned problem! :)

But i think listenining to some one is quite a compliment – especially coz we all seem to be too taken with our own voice and our own ideas. Its open hearted , non – judgemental  and comforting.

And after all said and done , even if we disagree – we should atleast ‘hear’ and ‘know’ what we are disagreeing to . and if we have ‘nothing to say at all ‘ ( and what a blessing that is) it just affirms ones belief that every problem that seems daunting to me seems equally complex to others too!

But isnt listening , a one way communication? not quite . I think all conversations dont happen using the classical tools of the spoken language. The ones that dont need to rely are on words are perhaps the most charming.

Felt like writing a note now , in the middle of the day . i rarely do that during work hours. but if we keep doing what we always do , we ll keep doing what we ve always done!

how does that sound to you?